"Late again!" the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Robbie.

"It ain't my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy.The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy
sleeps naked!"

Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Robbie what he
meant by that.

Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Robbie and trouble were old friends but he always told the truth.
"You see, Miss Russell, out at the farm we got this here low down fox. The last few nights, he done ate six hens. Last night,
when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his double barreled shot gun and said to my Ma, "That fox is
back again... I'm a gonna git him!''

"Stay back," Daddy whispered to all us kids!

"My Daddy was naked as a jaybird -- no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop.
Then, he stuck that double-barrelled 12-gauge shotgun through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with a
fox on his mind, our old hound dog, Rip, had done gone and woke up and comes sneaking up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Rip done went and stuck his cold nose in my Daddy's crack!"

"Miss Russell, we all been pluckin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin!"

It is funny until it happens to you. In the early 80s, we raised a bunch of Bronze turkeys. We had a beaucoup. One night we had a thunderstorm + the turkeys panicked + ran for cover under one of the outbuildings. We had stapled up chicken wire under the building to keep the insulation from being pulled down. Long story short the turkeys wile clustering under the outbuilding heard a thunder crash + took off in a panic......after sticking their necks + heads up 1st. Yep, right through the chicken wire + took off running. Decapitated the lot. The next morning there were dead headless turkeys all over the yard. Not going to work today; plenty + more to do at home. I never want to even consider bothering that many turkeys in one day ever again. On the plus side, I had built a smoker out of an old Norge refrigerator that would take 4 turkeys at a time. Took some time but no meat was wasted + a LOT of my friends got a smoked turkey for free.