The TOP FIVE of 2004!!! Pretty creative!!!!

Smart Ass Answer #5:


A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to
check tickets. As a man approached, she extended
her hand for the ticket, instead he opened his trench
coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat...she
said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub,"
________________


Smart Ass Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen
turkeys at the grocery store, but
she couldn't find one big enough for her
family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The
stock boy>replied,"No ma'am,they're dead."
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Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid
who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been
waiting for you all day,"
the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah,
well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped
laughing, he sent the kid on is
way without a ticket.
_______________

Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the
freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he
knows it, the bridge is right
ahead of him and he gets stuck under the
bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and
walks up to the truck driver, puts his
hands on his hips and says,"Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering
this bridge and ran out of gas."

AND NOW........FOR THE..........BEST ONE.........
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear
attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is finally restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam
with your other hand."

I luv it my brother inlaw how is the origanal pain in the arse ! is a trucker I have just Lovingly sent the bridge wit to him as acording to my Wife he acualy got a truck stuck under a bridge

Bloody near done it myself about thirty years ago at a railway bridge near Melbourne, hung a right into a side street and going by the tyre smoke hanging in the air after the manouvre the black marks are probably still there.

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!