Cure a Cat of Fleas

This week's question: Please tell me how to rid my cat of fleas.

The answer: There are several tried and true methods of de-fleaing one's domestic feline. You may wish to review the procedures involved and choose the one that's right for you.

1) Flea Shampoo - Nothing very surprising about this. A shampoo-chemical mix which treats your cat to a bubbly bath while at the same time giving his or her fur a coating of a chemical toxic to fleas. The wash in itself should remove all fleas. If it doesn't, the chemical coating will take care of the rest.

2) Duct Tape - For very low cost, you can remove those fleas with relative ease. Merely take a stretch of tape approximately the length of your cat and attach it lengthwise over the cat's body. Ensure the tape is secure and bonded well. With a firm grip of the cat's tail in one hand and the tape in the other, separate the two in one fluid motion. All fleas, including those attached to the fur, and the fur itself will be removed cleanly from the cat's body.

3) Vaccuum - A different approach to be sure. Using your standard hand held Dustbuster (or similar model), thoroughly run the device over your cat's fur making sure to cover all areas of the body. If fleas persist, you can step upto a common shop-vac or, if still not clean, an upright Hoover with a rotating bristle-head and carpet lamp should do the trick. Note that the carpet lamp effectively blinds the cat, making him or her an easy target for the Hoover.

4) Sand Blasting - A more radical method which involves staking your cat to the wall of a limestone facade, such as a government building or bank. When cleaning crews arrive, they will blast all trades of fleas from the skin of your cat. Of course, the skin of your cat will also more than likely be gone as well. Be advised that a pail is recommended for taking your cat home in.

5) Sulpher Bath - Fairly self-explanatory. Be sure to use earmuffs as the wails of your cat may grow to fairly intense ranges. Heavy work clothes and leather gloves are also recommended.

6)The .22/posthole cure- apply lead to the cats ears, then put it into a dirt bath. let soak FOREVER! Flea problem solved.

1800 Watt Microwave! derf

here's my favorite method of feline flea removal. it also works on dogs, people, and most other things...living or non-living. shave exactly one half of your cat. soak remaining fur with lighter fluid. ignite lighter fluid. this will cause all the fleas to run across the bare, freshly shaven area. at this point you act quickly and stab all the fleas to death with an ice pick. leather or asbestos gloves may come in handy. good luck...bud

How about Chainsaws?

Gee Dan,didn't some fool try that once! derf

You are working way to hard!! The feed sack/rock/cat/in the river method will rid the cat of fleas, or at least kill them all, provided you let the bag o'cats/rocks soak in the river at least a week, in a nice deep pool. The only additional tools needed are a good pair of welders gloves to use while collecting the cats/fleas!!

I have found that a quick bath in 93 octane will rid the cat of most flees. The remaining few can be chased off with the heat of a road flare.

A Co2 fire extinguisher will literally freeze them in thier tracks Liquid nitrogen should work really good too Inresponse,Howard county will never agree to your wishes,They discovered that if you drop off an officer at a round about,he/she will generate $2500 a day in seatbelt fines,let alone citations for being a jackass in the circle,failure to yield,running over the signs with your back axles,,etc.It's got to the point to where the locals won't sit with the local police at the firehouse pancake breakfast fund raisers

Claybuster,

I am not surprised by your info on Howard County. I would expect the politics that agreed to actually building one of them stupid round-a-bouts to be part of the anti-Darwinism team. After all, they are most likely Darwinism survivers themselves.

Best wishes.

Hey Claybuster, I just got through spending a few years in Anne Arundel Co. and was wondering who was the wise ass who made the off ramp the same an the other guy's on ramp on some of the roads?

Steve E.......