O.K. since there seem to be no new jokes only rehashing on a theme,I propose to start this thread that we only use the punch line. I'll go 1st. "I know Sylvia,but this one's eating my popcorn!"

Cuz her boyfriend was blonde, too!

I doan ken wher ya bin, er whut ye wer doin, but I'm glad to se ya wun firs prize!

Well your weekend is shot, you might as well go fishing!

Said the elephant.

You don't come here for the hunting, do you?

Are you gonna bitch, or are you gonna fish?

Here,Hold My Beer And Hold On To Your Hat.

And Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Boxer were the most mentally and physically attractive of the lot!

Arrgggh... was the same day I got me hook!

Because her twin has a mustache

The hair lip says "well you did'nt hear no gunshot did ya?"

Thanks for bringing her home.

Most guys leave her hanging on the fence.

$20.00 Bucks!! WHAT,AGAIN???!!!

"Don't touch those, they're for the funeral!"

Whoops - sorry ma'am. Didnt know it was loaded....

I said annually!

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? How do they get in a light bulb?

Nah,He'll bite me sure as $hit!

Tonight's the night!

"Henry! Leave me alone... you don't have to get up in the morning!"

"hellifino"

"some folks can tell them better than others."

Cuz we need the eggs!

Damn another barefoot alligator.

So sorry old chap, only soup today,
meat is so damned expensive!

oh no senor,sometimes the bull,he wins.

Well, that's correct, but right now he is set on coons!

"$32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?"

Naw, she messes up the meat too bad.

"Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."

Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

"I can't serve you." says the bartender. "You're Bard!"

Yea, I know I'm not telling them right.

See? I told you they would not be concerned with killing the million Arabs.

And that , folks , is how the USA came to have a black president ....

The woman says: " Not really, because I truly believe that will be best in the long run. I do have to admit that it pisses off my husband".

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."

"That's true," says the pilot, "but these fokkers were flying Messerschmidts."

No no nurse, I said prick his boil!

No, I wasn't making fun of you. I was making fun of him.

The frog looks down and says, "read it, read it, read it".

The Pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Texas now... It's a local call."

"GOD is missing, and they think we did it!"

At this point, I'm starting to think I wasted a stamp.

How many is a brazillion?

A brazillion is a hell'uva lot!

"That's what makes him so mean!"

And the hair lip says "well you did'nt hear no gunshot ,did you?!)

Super Sex ah?

What king of soup?