A guy who is feeling no pain is stopped by a State trooper. The trooper has him out of the car and, of course, he is totally incapable of walking a straight line. The trooper is about to place him under arrest when a spectacular crash of two semis occurs in the opposite lanes. The vehicles are fireballs lighting up the sky. (Fortunately no one is killed or even injured) The trooper's attention, of course, is distracted. He goes across the road. The guy seizes the opportunity to drive off. He gets safely home and is happy to have escaped a Drunk Driving charge. In fact, next morning he is congratulating himself on how dumb State troopers can be -to let him get away like that!. (This is a joke and in my long driving career I never thought the troopers of any state in the US were dumb!)

Later next morning, two state troopers show up on his doorstep. The guy is cocky. (It's too long afterwards to give him a blood test for alcohol) The troopers ask: " Did you drive a car home from the scene of a bad collision of semi trailers last night?"

The guy says: "Yeah. What of it?"

The trooper asks to see the car he drove home. The guy says " I never hit anything". The trooper nonetheless asks to see the car.

The guy says: " Sure!" and leads the troopers to his garage and triumphantly opens the garage door.

There sits a State Police car.

Reminds me of a friend who works as a State trooper in New Mexico. She pulled over a car which was driving erratically. After getting the guy out of the car, administering the drunk driving test and cuffing him because he failed (he was calm about it), she opens the boot (trunk) of the car.
Inside there lies about 10,000 diazapam tablets in plastic baggies.
No wonder the guy was calm.
Very, very calm.

Dave:

Many years ago I was going to make a first time drive across the US. I intended to carry a pistol (in fact, two of them) and got my local NY State Police to find out about how I could do it through the various states I planned to travel through. ( I had an unrestricted CW (carry weapon) permit at the time in NY) In New Mexico, I was shooting at a rattler underneath a historical marker sign. New Mexico had this great system where you didn't have to read a historical marker sign as you went by at 70 miles an hour on the highway. Instead you could pull off and read the sign at leisure. Rattlers during the day were liable to lie in the shade of the sign. I shot a rattler with my S&W K-22 under one of those signs. Just as I did so a black & white vehicle pulled in behind me. The officer approached and had an easy attitude with me - which astonished me as a New Yorker at the time -considering that I was somebody who just fired a pistol! Of course, I put the pistol down and jumped out of the car. I leaped to show him my NY pistol permit. He practically waved it away. He told me that he didn't know that New Yorkers could shoot pistols! I passed by that insult! It was my first real introduction to the West. (I had come West through Kansas, Colorado and cutting south from there) Whether they are called State troopers or Highway Patrol, they always had my life long respect as police officers - my own troopers and any other state's.