During her physical examination, a doctor asked a retired woman about
her physical activity level.

She said she spent 3 days a week in the outdoors. "Yesterday afternoon
was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty
rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through
2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely
avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to
the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear
and then ran away from one angry bull elk. The mental stress of it all
left me shattered. so at the end of it all I drank a scotch and three
glasses of wine."

Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You are one hell of an outdoor
woman!"

"No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really, really shitty golfer

Good One !!

That's why I gave up golf. I can't outrun either a bear or an elk and I'm not queer, so I don't want them to catch me.