Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison."
His reply: "If you were my wife, I'd take it."

Gladstone, a member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, sir," said Disraeli, "On whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -
Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book, I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." -
Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -Samuel Johnson

"He is a shiver looking for a spine to run up" - Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."- Jack E.
Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go."- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts, for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

Yes, indeed.

Thanks for these.

No gentleman insults anyone unintentionally, but when he does so intentionally, he could do a lot worse than Churchill did.

Churchill and a woman - after he had somehow offended her by ingesting perhaps a drink or two:

Woman: "You, sir, are drunk!"

Churchill: "And you, madam, are ugly. I shall be sober in the morning."

Churchill about a fellow MP: "He gives pederasty a bad name."

Slight misquotation on the first 2 but no worrys as the point was still in full effect.Concerning Winston;one day in the house of commons he was being lambasted by a rival who had the floor.Totaly insulted in his politics,etc.Meanwhile Winnie calmly gazed at his nails,yawned,etc.THe gent beside Churchill whispered in his ear,"does'nt it bother you what he's saying about you?" To which Churchill replied,"It would if I valued his opinion."

Also once upon a time F. Scott Fitzgerald remarked to Hemingway that "The rich REALLY are different than the rest of us." To which Hem replied,"Yeah,they've got more money."

"Doesn't mean that much to me To mean that much to you." - Neil Young


"Has improved so much, is now able to do some work"
- my employee evaluation by my engineering supervisor in 1981 at Boeing


"Works well under constant supervision and trapped like a rat." - an employee evaluation of someone else, but fits me too.