I still remember the first time my father caught me masturbating.

He came in the room and said "Gary, how many times have I told you that if you keep doing that, you;re going to go blind!"

I said, "Dad, I'm over here."

"can I do it just until I need glasses?"

Then there was the time when Johnny went out in the barn + found Grampa pleasuring himself so he says "Grandpa, are you jacking off?" To which Granda replied, "No just jacking."