As President Bush gets off the helicopter in front of the White House, he is carrying a baby pig under each arm.


The Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says: "Nice pigs, sir."

The President replies: "These are not pigs, these are authentic Texan Razorback Hogs. I got one for Vice-president Cheney, and I got one for Defense Secretary Rumsfeld."


The Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and says, "Nice trade, sir."

A motorist in Washington D. C. sees a volunteer appoaching his car at a stoplight with a red bucket marked "Donations". "Terrorists have kidnapped Vice President Cheney and are threatening to pour gasoline on him and set him on fire unless they get a ransom of $1 Billion Dollars, so we're taking up a collection."

"Well, how much are most people giving?", asks the motorist.

"Oh, just whatever you can spare", answered the volunteer, "but most people are giving about a gallon".