On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident.

The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.

While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in Heaven. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer.... For a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"

Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple."

"OH, COME ON!!!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer???"

Pretty durn funny!

Hmm, I don't know where all the folks who acknowledge Jesus as their Lord and Savior are, but:

"In the resurrection, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage. Instead, they will be like the angels in heaven"

Peter

Peter, I believe those that are "born again", give up their sense of humor.

not to mention most of their common sense

In the local paper we have this funny guy named Swami Beondawanna that has a column. He was being interviewed on the radio call in show. This self righteous Southern Baptist called in + asked him if he believed in being "born again".He replied,"Oh very yes,I believe in being born again + again + again + again.

It's a joke you religion bashers!

.

quote:

Originally posted by muzza:
not to mention most of their common sense

That is sometimes true but they are DEFINITELY exceeded by secular humanists in the loss of humor, commonsense, and logic.......

I genuinely dont mind people who see religion as the centerpoint of their lives- as long as they can accept that I dont share that view and am not remotely interested in them sharing their joy with me.

I dont push my view onto others , but they seem determined to show me the error of my ways. Maybe I present a challenge that is too hard to resist?

Muzza, there is a legitimate side to their activities. After all we are tasked to "make disciples of all nations", and Judaism is meant to be a light to all nations. Unfortunately, the American version of evangelism is, in many cases:
" you are a miserable human being, you are going to hell. I on the other hand acknowledge Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and while I don't believe all that crap about clothing the naked, feeding the hungry, helping those in need and helping the alien I am going to heaven. So there! BTW while I have no intention of doing anything to help adoptions, if you have an abortion you will go the hell, as will anyone else who helps or agrees with you. God loves you (well not really, he loves ME!"

Peter

quote:

"In the resurrection, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage. Instead, they will be like the angels in heaven"

The sexual activities or, for that matter, the sex of "angels in heaven" is not clear to me. Since you seem "connected", can you clarify?

Sorry, I am not connected, just struggling! Why not ask Ledvm, JTEX and INTJ, they seem to to be pretty positive that they know it all!
Having said that, there ARE various commentaries on what Jesus meant.
1. The question was posed by the Sadducees who did not believe in the resurrection of the dead, and they, connecting this with the notion of "levirate" marriages were trying to trap Jesus. His answer pleased the Pharisees who cheered him on.
2. While we love our spouses, children etc. when in the presence of God, our love for him will surpass this "earthly" love.
Just a quick stab. Hope it helps.
Peter.

So, do angels have sex or not? Meaning are there male and female angels?

Sorry, don't know the answer to either question. The angels named in the bible seem to have male names eg. Michael, Raphael, Gabriel etc. but that could just be because of the times. The names are also not just names but have meaning eg. Raphael means "God heals".
Guess we will find out later! Much later I hope!
Peter.

quote:

Originally posted by muzza:
I genuinely dont mind people who see religion as the centerpoint of their lives- as long as they can accept that I dont share that view and am not remotely interested in them sharing their joy with me.

I dont push my view onto others , but they seem determined to show me the error of my ways. Maybe I present a challenge that is too hard to resist?

I agree 100%. Too many people believe that their "freedom of speech" mandates that you have an obligation to listen.

Well, if there ain't female angels, I'm going to organize heaven and go on a strike for the continuation of earthly delights. Therefore, I am not going to die until I have a "union" contract. If there ain't no pussy in heaven, then what's it for?

quote:

Sorry, I am not connected, just struggling! Why not ask Ledvm, JTEX and INTJ, they seem to to be pretty positive that they know it all!
Having said that, there ARE various commentaries on what Jesus meant.

Sorry we hurt your feelings. You must have lost a debate in the Crater. However, this thread needs to get back to Humor.....

http://babylonbee.com/news/chr...annual-hunger-games/


NEW MEXICO—Deep in the heart of the American Southwest, final preparations are being made for a highly anticipated annual tradition: The Christian Denominational Hunger Games, an event intended to ease tensions between various Christian traditions and satiate interdenominational bloodlust.

One male and one female volunteer participates from each faith tradition, though if no one steps forward, an able-bodied warrior is chosen by force. The participants train for months before finally stepping into the arena, ready to fight to the death.

“The Southern Baptists are favored to win this year, with their plentiful supply of AR-15s, but don’t count out the charismatics—they’re pumped up and energetic as always,” a Games commentator said on an evening show. “The Orthodox Presby’s male volunteer has even grown his beard large enough to fashion a survival shelter for him and several other allied denominations in a pinch, so look out for him to become a frontrunner this year.”

“But also look out for underdogs like the Mennonites and the Lutherans—they’ve been known to snatch victory from unsuspecting denominations who forgot they even existed,” he added.

Experts state this year’s games are shaping up to be the most violent since the Lordship Salvation versus Free Grace debates of the late 1980s, with tensions over politics and racial reconciliation reaching fever pitch. “We just hope the games will satisfy Christians’ murderous anger for one another, at least until next spring,” pastor Kevin DeYoung said at the opening ceremony of the games.

Alliances form early and disintegrate just as fast in each year’s Games. The mainline denominations often team up for survival, but quickly break up as they bicker over a multitude of issues. More conservative groups tend to stick together more effectively, but inevitably begin slaughtering one another whenever they come across a body of water, which always triggers a debate on paedobaptism. The defensive Independent Baptists never ally with anyone, and will shoot and hurl snakes and King James Bibles at anyone who approaches.

The Games are filmed for entertainment purposes, though pastors across the nation are known to use the footage as sermon illustrations and object lessons throughout the event, which lasts several weeks. Sponsors like The Gospel Coalition, Answers in Genesis, and Christianity Today help their favorite fighters out by dropping supplies like casseroles, jello with bits of fruit in them, and inspiring Christian books into the enclosed death cage.

Godspeed, brave denominational warriors! Let the Games begin, and may God’s eternal purposes be ever in your favor!

And the Catholics will take on the "winner" after everyone else has been eliminated (ie. gone to hell).
Peter

Then there's the story about the bus full of American Indians that goes over the cliff + everyone is killed. They go up to heaven + St. Peter takes them into the elevator to the 14th floor.He tells them don't make a sound when we pass floor # 12,that's where the baptists are,they think they're the only ones here.(told to me by an American indian)