One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around.
The man leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? He is our oldest member
and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget."

They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story. "Well," he began, "I remember back in '54, we went
on a lion hunting expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. On the fourth day,
I was so tired I had to rest. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep.
I don't know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the
biggest lion I've ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, 'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!'
Well, I just crapped my pants."

The young men looked astonished and one of them said, "I don't blame you,
I would have crapped my pants too if a lion jumped out at me.
" The old man shook his head and said, "No, no. Not then,
just now when I said 'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!'"

Ah...a joke from the time of the avian flu crisis...

Three animals in the jungle a lion, a bear and a sparrow.

When I roar, says the lion, everybody hides...

When I growl, says the bear, everybody trembles...

Yes, that's all well enough, says the sparrow, but when I cough, everybody SHITS THEMSELVES...