OUR JOBS ARE SAFE AS LONG AS THESE PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE......
ONE.
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
have an
order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
"You
don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
"So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right."
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
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TWO.
I was checking out at the local Target with just a few items and the
lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register
and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
"divider,"
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this
is?"
I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.
" She said, "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
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THREE.
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on
the
Internet and they
kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
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FOUR.
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car "Do you
need
some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote.
Now
I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this
remote
thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't
you
drive over there and check about the batteries.
It's a long walk."
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FIVE.
Several years ago, we had a junior typist who was none too swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost
out
of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.
With that, the junior took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put
it
on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
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SIX.
My neighbour works in the I.T. department in the central office of a
large
bank.
Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their
computers.
One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branches who had this
question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal.
Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
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SEVEN.
Police in Dubbo NSW interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander
on
his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopier machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed
the
copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
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Life is tough at the top...lol... Makes you wonder does'nt it?

Old age and retirement do have advantages, but don't quote me because I can't remember what they are at the moment.

I needed to take a document to a downtown bank that I wasn't familiar with.

The female bank officer I was speaking with on the phone told me that their building was located at "3rd and Main".

"Okay, is that on the East or the West side of Main", I asked, wanting to make sure of the building.

"Well", she said after a long pause, "I guess that would depend on which direction you were coming from".

"Nevermind, I think I can find you on my own", I replied.