JEFF FOXWORTHY ON COLORADO

1. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day.
2. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.
3. Your sense of direction: towards the mountains and away from the mountains.
4. You're always "fixin to" do something (due to Texas influence).
5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your
own special bike lane .
6. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging

blizzard without even flinching.
7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would
never go there otherwise.
8. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire
Beer.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs. You
know all four seasons (almost winter, winter, still winter and spring
blizzards).
12. You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU's victory.
13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from
altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.
14. You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't
get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.
15. You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista.
16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer
and not get a buzz.
17. Your car insurance costs more than your car.
18. You have surge protectors on every outlet.
19. April showers bring May blizzards.
20. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been.
21. You know what a 'Chinook' is
22. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is.
23. You know what a "fourteener" is.
24. But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.
25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a
democrat in congress does.
26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.
27. You know who Alferd Packer was, and did.
28. You know who Baby Doe Tabor was.
29. SPF 90 is not out of the question.
30. People from out of state breathe five times as often as you do.
31. Having had a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.
32. Thunder has set off your car alarm.
33. A full moon has never kept you awake at night.
34. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck.
35. A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.
36. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.
37. Where we're going, we don't need roads!!
38. You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.
39. You know where Buffalo Bill's grave is.
40. You know where the real "South Park" is.
41. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.
42. Driving directions usually include 'Go over_________ Pass.'
43. You've done 'checking for ticks' .
44. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka with a hood.
45. You've gone snow skiing in July and...
46. You've gone sunbathing in January and...
47. They were in the same year!
48. You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could 'run into
both oceans'.
49. And the most important: You get a certain feeling of satisfaction
from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.
50. You actually understand these jokes and send them to your Colorado
friends.

The reason this is funny (and sad) is that as a native of Colorado I can honestly answer yes to 40 of the 50 posted, and a "mostly" yes to 8 of the other 10.

quote:

35. A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.

My sister and I, both natives, still argue over pronouncing Buena Vista.