Three proofs that Jesus was Jewish:
1. he went into his father's business
2. he lived at home until age 33.
3. he was sure his mother was a virgin,she was sure he was god.

Three proofs that Jesus was Irish:
1. he never got married
2. he never held a steady job
3. his last request was a drink

Three proofs that Jesus was Puerto Rican:
1. his first name was Jesus
2. he was always in trouble with the law
3. his mother did not know who his father was

Three proofs that Jesus was Italian
1. he talked with his hands
2. he had wine with every meal
3. he worked in the building trades

Three proofs that Jesus was English
1. he dressed like shit
2. he did not know the first thing about good food
3. he was always looking for a fight

Three proofs that Jesus was American
1. he thought he had all the answers
2. he thought it was trendy to wear flip flops
3. he thought the sun shone out of his ass

Three proofs that Jesus was black
1. he called everybody brother
2. he had no permanent address
3. nobody would hire him

Three proofs that Jesus was Californian
1. he never cut his hair
2. he walked around barefoot
3. he invented a new religion