Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night
10..3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer
run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife
1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite
applications. I was thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
uninstall doesn't seem to work on Wife 1.0 .

Please help!

Thanks, A Troubled User.

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REPLY

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people
upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a
Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING! It is also
impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system
once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Maintenance/
Child Support." I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on
improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
application
called "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C: \ APOLOGISE.
Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGISE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean Sweep
3..0, Cook It 1.5 and Iron 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use
will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this
happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to
purchase additional software.

I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 for this!

WARNING!
DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will
cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support.