It’s Hell to be Old
Old people have problems you haven’t ever considered yet!

An 85 year old man was requested for a sperm count as part of his annual physical.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said: “Take this jar home and bring back a seamen sample tomorrow”.
The next day the man reappeared at the doctor’s office with an empty jar (?).
The doctor asked what happened and the old man explained. “Well doc, it’s like this--- first I tried with my right hand and nothing. Then I tried with my left hand but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for some help and she tried with her right hand and then her left hand but still nothing. Then she tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in and then with them out. Still nothing. She called up Arlene, the neighbor, and she tried too. First with both hands, then an armpit, and even tried squeezing it between her knees but still nothing”.

The doctor was shocked. “You asked your neighbor?”

The old man replied, “Yes, and none of us could get the jar open”

Two old geezers sitting on a bench in front of the nursing home.
First one says: "Piss i'm getting old, knees are shot my back ackes all the time and i cant see sh!7".
The other replies: "I feel like a newborn".
First one: "How's that"?
Second one replies: "No hair, no teeth and i just shat my pants".

Hell to get Old, but beats the alternative, most of the time.

Grizz