A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??"
"Because the dog's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

Reminds me of the W.C. Fields routine where he as a ventriloquist takes this dog into a bar (of course).Introduces him as a talking dog.Bartender wants to buy him + Fields reluctantly agrees to sell him for $100.00. The dog now pissed says "Just for selling me,I'll never say another word for the rest of my life."

An indian sits in front of the drugstore with his horse, dog and a sheep.
A ventriloquist comes up to him ans asks if he can talk to his horse.
The indian replies: Horse no speak.
The stranger then proseeds to say hello how do you do to the horse, and replies oh im fine and my owner treats me good, for the horse.
The indians jaw drops and he just stares at the horse.
The stranger asks the indian if he can talk to his dog and the indian replies: Dog no speak.
The sceen repeats itself and the indian stares in disbelief.

Now the stranger asks the indian if he can talk to his sheep and the indian replies: Sheep lies!