THINGS TO SAY WHEN STRESSED AT WORK


1. "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!!!"
2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!"(priceless)
3. "Well this day was a total waste of make-up"
4. "Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"
5. "Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."
6. "Do I look like a fucking people person!"
7. "This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting"
8. "I started out with nothing still have most of it left"
9. "Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose"
10. "Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control"
11. "I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."
12. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."
13. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"
14. "I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"
15. "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet"
16. "Back off!! You're standing in my aura."
17. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."
18. "I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."
19. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."
20. "Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"
21. "Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done."
22. "Ambivalent? Well yes and no."
23. "You look like shit. Is that the style now?"
24. "Earth is full. Go home."
25. "Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?"
26. "I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."
27. "A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."
28. "You are depriving some village of an idiot."
29. "If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport

Brad

30. Sorry I'm late for work but the voices in my head made me stay home and clean my guns.

Good one Sam..................

This is real funny - thank you for the laugh. I'm going through a heckuva situation at right now - it feels good to laugh about it.

Onward!

Glad it helped - Dont ever lose faith............

Brad

"Look into my eyes, does anything in there look like I give a shit?"

Or, put another way:

"I can tell by your question that you have obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a sh*t."

Or, put another way:

"Did you come up with that on your own, or did your mongoloid kids help you?"

Or, put another way:

"I could wade through your deepest thoughts and not get my ankles wet."

Or, put another way:

"Have a nice day. But get the f*ck out of my face and do it somewhere f*ckin' else."

Or, put the last and final way:

"Thank you. And the horse you rode in on."

Muzzle & mrlexma

Will ad them to the list........

Brad

quote:

Originally posted by Brad_Rolston:
THINGS TO SAY WHEN STRESSED AT WORK

2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!"(priceless)

I heard that all the time in prison.

Have a map handy. Point to some small island in the middle of nowhere. And tell them this where the people who give a damn are.

Works great on bosses.

Or this.....

Your ignorance is only overshadowed by your stupidity!

Or "That was as bright as a light bulb in a power failure".