Once upon a time Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest to her grandmother's house. She was carrying a basket full of wonderful goodies for her and her grandmother to eat... she also had a big gun to protect herself in the woods.

One day Little Red Riding Hood came upon a Fox. The fox looked at Little Red and says "Little Red Riding hood, what are you doing walking in the forest by yourself. You know if the wolf catches you he will rip your clothes off and fondle your titties."

Little Red sighs and smiles at the fox and slowly opens her basket and shows the fox her gun and says "No he won't, see I have a gun to protect myself." She smiles and skips away from the fox to her grandmother's house.

Little red gets deep within the forest when she comes upon a bear who wanders up to her and smells the yummy food in the basket then thinks to himself for a second and says, "What are you, stupid, Little Red? You know if the Wolf catches you alone in the forest he's going to rip your clothes off and fondle your titties."

Little Red shows the bear the big gun in her basket and smiles, "No he won't I have a big gun in my basket ...." She pulls out the gun "See, nothing can harm me." Little Red smiles and skips to grandmother's house.

Little red finally makes it to grandmother's house...and knocks on the door...no one answers so she goes right in. She walks to the bed, sees the Wolf and screams as the Wolf yells, "Little Red Riding Hood, I am going to rip your clothes off and fondle your titties!"

The wolf reaches out to her and Little Red smiles and pulls out her gun and yells, "No you're not! You are going to EAT ME, JUST LIKE THE BOOKS SAYS!"


EA

Several months later, Little Red Riding Hood is accosted again by the wolf. This time he hollers, "Little Red Riding Hood, I'm going to eat you."

She replies, "Eat, eat, eat. Doesn't anybody just FUCK anymore?"

This is one of the few jokes my ex ever told me. May she RIP, wherever

What book?

Little Red Ridng Hood left her grandmother's cottage one day and after walking 10 yards she heard a scratching sound coming from behind some bushes. She called out 'Who's There!'. It was the wolf but he did not answer and moved along. 50 yards further on she heard a similar scratching sound coming from behind some other bushes. Once again she called out'Who's There!'. Again it was the wolf but he moved along and did not reveal himself to Little Red Riding Hood. 200 yards further on she heard the scratching sound again coming from behind another clump of bushes Once again she called out 'Who's There'. This time the wolf completely loses it, stands up and yells 'Can't you fuck off. I'm trying to have a shit!!