Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.

Officer: Her age

Husband: I'm not sure. Somewhere between 50 and 60. We don't do birthdays.

Officer: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Officer: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Officer: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Officer: Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

Officer: What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Officer: What kind of car did she leave in?

Husband: She went in my truck.

Officer: What kind of truck was it?

Husband: A 2016, pearl white Ram Limited 4X4 with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine, manufactured September 16th, ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, back up and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB port, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and underglow wheel well lighting.

At this point the husband started choking up.

Officer: Take it easy sir. We'll find your truck.

Damn right! A woman is only a woman but you don't see many trucks like that one.

My uncle went out one morning to go to town in his truck but it was not in the yard & neither was his wifes old chevy.
He walks out to the road & sees the car setting on the side of the road a couple hundred yards away broke down.
When my aunt returned that afternoon in his truck he was sitting in a lawn chair drinking beer.
There was a brand new Cadillac sitting in the carport & when she got out of the truck he tossed her the keys & said "now stay out of my damn truck"

My ex wife (who never hit a lick of work in her life) used to use any of my vehicles that had gas in them + bring them back w/o enough gas to make it to the station. I bought a new Ford P.U. w/ dual tanks + never told her about how to switch the tanks figuring I now have a safety net. No,she found the tank switch. Thank God she's not my problem anymore.