TEXAS SEX

Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One said, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."
"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," said the other cowboy, "what is it?"
"Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind.
Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just like your sister's.'
Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds."

It does help having a Texas sized dick while riding that bronco.Minnow dick yankees would have slipped the track early in the game + left the lady angry for a variety of reasons.

Don't you Texicans wish your dicks were as big as your egoes???

quote:

Originally posted by Norman Conquest:
It does help having a Texas sized dick while riding that bronco.Minnow dick yankees would have slipped the track early in the game + left the lady angry for a variety of reasons.

Those that have them don't need to brag. Those that are hung like a second grader are the only ones that brag. Kind of like being tough. A true bad ass will never run around acting tough. He'll just stomp your ass in the dirt with no warning. Fake toughs run around trying to bluff everyone.

So, I'm guessing your true nickname is probably either Twinky or NeedleDick.

quote:

Originally posted by Norman Conquest:
It does help having a Texas sized dick while riding that bronco.Minnow dick yankees would have slipped the track early in the game + left the lady angry for a variety of reasons.

For your sheep herders sake, hopefully your're as "long" as your imagination.

My heavens,I made one statement + all of a sudden we have a plethora of gents from EVERYWHERE looking down their shorts + getting pissed off. IT IS A JOKE...O.K.Heh,heh,heh.

quote:

IT IS A JOKE...O.K.Heh,heh,heh.

Jokes on you

quote:

Originally posted by Norman Conquest:
My heavens,I made one statement + all of a sudden we have a plethora of gents from EVERYWHERE looking down their shorts + getting pissed off. IT IS A JOKE...O.K.Heh,heh,heh.

It's a joke if you have to look in your shorts. If you're really that well endowed, you'd take off your boot. Guess you don't qualify there Stubby!

quote:

Originally posted by wasbeeman:
Don't you Texicans wish your dicks were as big as your egoes???

Two Texans standing on a bridge, taking a leak. First one says, Water is sure deep. Second one says, and cold too.

Grizz

quote:

Originally posted by Grizzly Adams:

quote:

Originally posted by wasbeeman:
Don't you Texicans wish your dicks were as big as your egoes???

Two Texans standing on a bridge, taking a leak. First one says, Water is sure cold. Second one says, and deep too.

Grizz

Fixed it for you.

Flags,

you might want to come up and visit a few of the more colorful logging or mining town bars with me sometime.

I have yet to meet any of those quiet types you mention...

All I can say is treasure whatever it is that you have becasue one day you might not have it.

Guess you don't qualify there Stubby![/QUOTE]

Have we met???

quote:

Originally posted by Idaho Sharpshooter:
Flags,

you might want to come up and visit a few of the more colorful logging or mining town bars with me sometime.

I have yet to meet any of those quiet types you mention...

That's probably because you don't know many Navy SEALs. I've watched some of those guys go from coo,l calm and collected to raging animals in less than a second. And their opponents never knew what hit them. The truly tough guys know they're tough and don't run around trying to prove it or call attention to themselves.

By the time your loggers or miners could even think about getting busy, the tough guys I'm used to dealing with would already be wiping blood off their knuckles and setting up the next round of beer.

Gee, Mr Flags, are you a badass?? You, on the one hand, talk about how the really bad asses don't talk that talk, they merely walk that walk, and yet, here you are pounding your chest and dragging you knuckles on the ground. Talking that talk as it were. I'm confused.

quote:

Originally posted by wasbeeman:
Gee, Mr Flags, are you a badass?? You, on the one hand, talk about how the really bad asses don't talk that talk, they merely walk that walk, and yet, here you are pounding your chest and dragging you knuckles on the ground. Talking that talk as it were. I'm confused.

Nope, I'm not a "bad ass". Never had the temprement for it and never claimed to be one. I can hold my own when I need to but I've never been one to just unload. Every fight I've been in was a last resort. I'd say that is probably true for most people. I'd rather try to avoid the fight than jump in it.

But I've known and seen some real "bad asses" and they all shared the same common trait. They want their opponent completely destroyed before they can set up a defence. So, they tend not to walk around acting tough or give the other guy a chance to get ready by talking tough. They go from calm to raging in the blink of an eye. A true bad ass will never give up the advantage of the element of surprise.

Therfore, I stand by my earlier comment:

quote:

"A true bad ass will never run around acting tough. He'll just stomp your ass in the dirt with no warning."

A fake bad ass or a wannabe bad ass runs their mouth and tries to bluff the other guy down. By the time they think about getting down to business, the actual true bad ass has already kicked the shit out of them. There are very, very few true bad asses out there. But there are a lot of wannabe bad asses. Spend time in the right areas and you'll quickly see the difference.

Much ado about nothing, and nothing that a .357 can't sort out.

You guys made me feel inadequate so I went to EBAY and bid on a penis enlarger. Was the winning bidder too. Did I ever get ripped off. They sent me a magnifying glass and instructions said don't use in sun.

Well I couldn't stand reading Flags any longer. He's full of shit. I have quite a few friends that are or were in the special forces and if they went to a place that idaho shapshooter said they would make friends before they would fight. special forces people tend to blend in and try not to put alot of attention to themselfs. Not saying that they aren't tough they are. They know they are. They are smarter then the avg. idiot.

quote:

Originally posted by dempsey:

quote:

Originally posted by Norman Conquest:
It does help having a Texas sized dick while riding that bronco.Minnow dick yankees would have slipped the track early in the game + left the lady angry for a variety of reasons.

For your sheep herders sake, hopefully your're as "long" as your imagination.

Mr. dempsey, please -

Make fun of our crotches all you want, but "sheep herder" is just outright "hitting below the belt."

Hey guys, despite the peepee-length piss fest this is still a pretty darned funny joke ...

quote:

Originally posted by Bill/Oregon:
Hey guys, despite the peepee-length piss fest this is still a pretty darned funny joke ...