A Golf Poem -

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
White And Dimpled, Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.

By Its Size I Could Not Guess,
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.

My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End,
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.

It Has Made Me Yell, Curse, And Cry,
I Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It Promises A Thing Called Par,
If I Can Hit It Straight And Far.

To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires, The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.

It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.

With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.

It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows ... I'll Be Back Tomorrow.

Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls. A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud. I Almost feel like a hybrid.

Never played golf never plan to.

I have a bumper sticker on my truck. A golf course is a waste of good pasture.

Grizz

I'm not a golfer, but I wish I could make "Trapshooter" rhyme. It would fit perfectly !

I was never interested in golf but there are those out there that live + breathe it.

Churchill said that golf is a good walk ruined. Enjoyed for at least 60 years but old age has taken it away from me. Fortunately shooting from the bench still works.

An this is from a man who took cognac before coffee + breakfast,every day.As winnie said "I have taken more out of drink than it has taken out of me,"More Churchill tales coming in the future."Actually I think I will set a site on Sir Winston alone.This should ensure some great stories

Can't wait to contribute to the Churchill site!

"Never have so many owed so much to so few"

Actually most golfers don't walk! They drive the golf cart. Walking holds up play!
Peter.

Offered to be third on one of those round robin/three-man teams. "Y'all got two hits and the third is mine -- with my rifle!" (No takers.)

O.K. I'll start Winnies site.Should be great joy for all.