Men Are Just Happier people -



What do you expect when:

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
Wrinkles add character.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

The world is your urinal.

None of your friends ask "Do these pants make my ass look big"

If you tell a friend that they are getting fat, they don't hate you.

Shoe shopping is a 10 minute deal, not the search for the holy grail.

If someone leaves the toilet seat up, it isn't the end of the world!




Cheers, Dave.

You do not have to paint your face, to go out in public.

If someone shows up at a party wearing the exact same thing you are, you may have found a best friend for life.

My wife is over 40 and struggles with her weight. Then she started going to a woman's support group. There she learned that women often over eat to supress anger.

So now she asks me, "Do these slacks make my butt look angry?"

Whatever your were comfortable wearing when you got out of high school becomes your benchmark for "fashion". You buy shoes based on how they
make your feet feel, not how they make your feet look and they go with every 'outfit" you
have, which is one, not counting your turkey hunting camoflage.

You are color conscious about your apparel - it is either denim, blaze orange, or camo.

When you go out for dinner you go out to eat, not look at what everyone else in the restaurant is wearing, what hair style they have, or who they are with.

You have one hair style until you go bald, then you have none.

The only period you have is the period between
hunting seasons and Nascar.

You don't ask a car salesman what colors the truck is available in you want to know if it has a Dana 44 or Dana 60 front end. When you ask about gas mileage you means miles per tank, not miles per gallon.

When you ask someone a question all you want is the specific answer to the question not a bunch of second guessing about what you really wanted to know.

If some guy kisses you on the cheek he will find out just how long your knife is.

You can walk into a hardware store eating a banana and nobody will stare at you.