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33 Unique Descriptions of Losers

(Useful descriptions of people you deal with every day)

1. The cheese slid off of his cracker.

2. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

3. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching.

4. A room temperature IQ.

5. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them
together.

6. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

7. A photographic memory, but the lens cover is on.

8. Bright as Alaska in December.

9. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.

10. Donated his body to science - before he was done using it.

11. During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.

12. Fell out of the family tree.

13. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

14. Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

15. So dense that light bends around him.

16. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

17. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

18. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you get change back.

19. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

20. It's hard to believe that he beat out 100,000 other sperm.

21. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he just gargled.

22. Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

23. Was left on the Tilt-a-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

24. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

25. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

26. A few beers short of a six-pack.

27. Dumber than a box of hair.

28. A few peas short of a casserole.

29. Doesn't have all his corn flakes in one bowl.

30. One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.

31. One taco short of a combination plate.

32. Cranially challenged.

33. All foam no beer.
 
Posts: 2299 | Location: Monee, Ill. USA | Registered: 11 April 2001
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Picture of Matt Norman
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Lights are on...but nobody is home.

A couple fries short of a Happy Meal

Dumber than a box of rocks

If he had a brain, he'd take it out and play with it.
 
Posts: 3276 | Location: Western Slope Colorado, USA | Registered: 17 August 2001
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All his puppies don't bark.

muck
 
Posts: 1052 | Location: Southern OHIO USA | Registered: 17 November 2001
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If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
 
Posts: 208 | Location: Lat:32.346;Long:86.174 | Registered: 07 January 2003
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Dumber than a box of high-grade owl shit....
 
Posts: 425 | Location: Ohio | Registered: 07 March 2002
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Picture of Unstable
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sharp as a bag of wet mice.

his engine isnt firing on all cylinders.

When he opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.

out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
 
Posts: 201 | Location: NJ, USA | Registered: 22 August 2003
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His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
 
Posts: 588 | Location: Maryland | Registered: 08 April 2003
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Picture of British
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As popular as a turd in a swimming pool
 
Posts: 325 | Location: Essex, UK | Registered: 12 May 2003
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one dog faced boy short of a freakshow
 
Posts: 1317 | Location: eastern Iowa | Registered: 13 December 2000
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Couldn't make a fist if the instructions were written on his knuckles.
 
Posts: 437 | Location: S.E. Idaho | Registered: 23 July 2003
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Couldn't pour dirt out of his boots if the instructions were written on the bottom.
 
Posts: 172 | Location: Danville, VA, USA | Registered: 08 October 2001
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Picture of CK
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Photographic memory, but out of film.
 
Posts: 653 | Location: Juneau, Alaska | Registered: 09 February 2001
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Picture of rjrobb
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Reached rock bottom and KEPT DIGGIN!!!!
 
Posts: 411 | Location: CO | Registered: 05 June 2003
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Is depriving some village of it's idiot...
 
Posts: 784 | Location: Michigan | Registered: 18 December 2000
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Picture of NitroX
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"Not the brightest spark in the campfire"
 
Posts: 10138 | Location: Wine Country, Barossa Valley, Australia | Registered: 06 March 2002
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Has a few pages stuck together.

Full of shit and down a quart.

Dumber'n a bag of hammers. [Smile]
 
Posts: 2921 | Location: Canada | Registered: 07 March 2001
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Lights are on but nobody's home.
 
Posts: 2758 | Location: Fernley, NV-- the center of the shootin', four-wheelin', ATVin' and dirt-bikin' universe | Registered: 28 May 2003
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KNUCKLE DRAGGER
 
Posts: 3850 | Registered: 21 July 2002
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Picked his nose and his head caved in.
 
Posts: 83 | Location: Cody, Wy. | Registered: 05 February 2003
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he is stupid , but he knows that he is stupid, and that almost makes him smart.
 
Posts: 52 | Location: omaha | Registered: 01 January 2003
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Couldn't find his own ass in a crowd
 
Posts: 424 | Registered: 13 July 2002
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How about,

Takes him an hour to make minute rice.

He climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

He's nuttier than squirrel turds.

He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
 
Posts: 274 | Location: S.E. Michigan | Registered: 04 July 2003
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