Princess Camilla bought new shoes for her wedding. They got increasingly tighter and more uncomfortable as the day wore on. That night, when the festivities were over and the royal couple had retired, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling, please remove my shoes. My feet are killing me."

Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked ehr right shoe with vigor, but it would not budge. "Harder", yelled Camilla, "Harder."

Charles yelled back, "I'm trying, darling, but it's just so bloody tight."

"Come on! Give it all you've got!" she cried. Finally, when it released, Charles let out a big groan and Camilla exclaimed, "There! Oh God, that feels good."

In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See? I told you with a face like that, she had to be a virgin."

Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh, God, darling! This one's even tighter!"

At which Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy: once a Navy man, always a Navy man!"

The princess arrived at her arranged marriage and as she and her new husband the prince went for the first night together a page boy was sent to listen in. This is his report: "The first thing that happened was she told him I offer you my honor. He then replied i honoe your offer. That's how it went all night long, honor and offer, honor and offer.

And they say the English have no sense of humor...

Too funny

I had a dear friend that escaped from the Soviets when they took Prague.He made it to London before coming stateside.His comment on England;to wit:The English have good table manners + the continentals have good food....The continentals have sex + the English have hot water bottles......But then again we have the Albertian adage,"To get a womam,one must look like an Englishman;to keep a woman,one must not make love like one."My appolgies if this gives offense to our cousins;I might add however that the stats show that the "average Brit" engages in 17 minutes of foreplay + 2 minutes of intercourse.No wonder they're snippy!

When I read posts from chaps like 308 and dear old Norman, it makes me wonder why we ever gave you chaps your freedom. The English have a cultured and sophisticated sense of humour (and that word IS spelt with a "U"!). We really can not be held responsible if you fellows don't understand the jokes! Now what was that about being snippy?

My dearest Cranborne,
I greatly appreciate the relationship which has developed between our countries over the last couple of hundred years, and have no desire to test it by picking nits. However, it is not exactly correct to say the you "gave you (American colonists) chaps your freedom." At the further risk of offending, we say "spelled" over here and consider smelt a backward formation.

YOS,
Brice

YO Brice-

I thought smelt was a fish???????

http://www.biologicaldiversity.org/swcbd/species/deltasmelt/index.html

Maybe I'm just still confused from that transamendangered thing you got up there.

Perhaps I should reconsiderate it some more???

Hey LRH,
I thought you were off to the Selous. Don't forget to leave the key under the mat.

Not till the 20th of July. And I had to get a new mat; the old one SMELT too bad (sometimes I crack myself up! )

I have 31 more days to correct your atrocious spelling before I go.

<------ How do you like the new avatar?

Atrocius? I think you're reaching. As for the avatar, I don't know what to say. It looks a lot like a Husky. You know, like the U. of Washington (my alma mater) mascot. Did you do that just for me? How sweet.

You are just 30 days ahead of me. I leave for Mozambique 8/19.

That's Kashmir, the Samoyed from hell. Long gone, but I miss her.

Sorry to hear that, LRH. There must be a ton of stories related to the"from hell" part.