I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and I noticed a burglar, sneaking
through my next door neighbor's garden.

Suddenly my neighbor came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel,
killing him instantly.

He then dug a grave and put the body in it and covered it. Astonished I got back into bed.
Carol, my lovely wife said, "Warren, you're shaking, what is it?"

"You'll never believe what I've just seen," I said, "that son of a gun next door still has
my shovel."

optimistic, life-affirming story.