An elderly woman went to buy a parrot.
The woman asked the pet shop owner if it would behave if she took it to church with her on Sundays.
The owner said it shouldn't be a problem and that she could put him on her shoulder and he would stay there.
She bought the parrot and the next week she put him on her shoulder and went off to church.
Just as everyone quieted down and the sermon began, the parrot looked around, squawked and said, "It's goddamned cold in here!"
As everyone turned to look at her, she ran out of the church in total embarrassment!
The next day she returned to the pet store and explained the embarrassing situation to the owner.
The owner offered the following solution, "If the parrot does that again, grab him by the legs and swing him around 5 times and return him to your shoulder.
So, the next Sunday she took the parrot to church and, sure enough, just as the sermon started the parrot squawked, "its goddamned cold in here!" Without any hesitation, the woman grabbed his legs, swung him around 5 times and placed him back on her shoulder.
The parrot shook his head, ruffled his feathers and said "Pretty fuckin' windy, too."

Well done and welcome aboard! derf

Swamp Fox:

You stole that joke from me!

The way I heard it in school over 50 years was that a lady got the parrot from a pet shop and wanted to have him at her afternoon tea and that when she twirled the parrot to stop his cursing, he exclaimed: " Whee! What a fucking breeze!"

gerald,

We steal them all from someone.