HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM WHEN ON A BUDGET:



1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

"Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

P S - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside."

INSTALLATION COMPLETE!

Redneck Security Company

Bingo!

How about on the door, "Wife is PMSing, caught me cheating with her best friend, now has access to the gun safe and threatens to blow the balls off the next man she sees."

John

Damn John;that reminds me of the old rodeo sex joke.Doing it doggie style when you tell her thats the way her sister likes it.....+ see if you can stay on for 8 seconds.