Bob walks into his favorite bar, sits down and starts to drink, as he`s watching T.V. Well, being a regular drinker, after about an hour and a half, he`s gotta take a piss...So, he gets up and heads into the bathroom.
He gets in, and is standing at the urinal about to un-zip and do his business...and all of a sudden, he hears the door open up. Well, he takes a look but he doesn`t see anyone...then he hears foot-steps and looks down. He see this little midget fucker walking up to the urinal beside him. Well, he`s thinking to himself "HAHA!! That little fuck isn`t going to reach the urinal!! He`s too short!!"....Well, the little guy proves him wrong by un-zipping and pulling it out....and he keeps pulling it out. He wraps it around his waist three times and throws it over his shoulder and starts his business. Well, Bob is standing there wide eyed and mouth open. Bob says, "Hey!!! Holy Shit!! How`d you get a dick that big!?!?".

Well, the little guy says, "I`m a Leprechaun, and for every three wishes I give someone...I get one free wish!!!". So Bob stands there a second thinkin` and he says "Hey! Could you give me three wishes!?". And the Leprechaun says, "Sure, but I get one free wish from you!!". So Bob says, "Hell Yeah, sounds good to me!". So,

The Leprechaun asked him what he would like for his first wish and Bob says, "I wish for a million dollars!". So the Leprechaun snaps his fingers and shakes his ass and says "Alright, you have a million dollars in the First State Bank in your name!" and Bob says, "Hell Yeah!!".

So the Leprechaun asked for his second wish and Bob says "I want a brand new Chevy! With Mud Tires, Dual Exhaust, Fog Lamps, and a Anti-Tank Weapon mounted on the hood!!". So the Leprechaun snaps his fingers and shakes his ass and says "Alright, Bob, you got a Brand New Chevy out in the parking lot where your old piece of shit used to be!!" and Bob says "Fuck Yeah!!!".

So the Leprechaun says "Ok, Bob, this is your last wish...Make it worth your while!!!"...So, Bob smiles and winks at the Leprechaun and says "Haha, you know what I want. I want her tall, long black hair, a nice set of peaches, and pretty eyes!". So the Leprechaun smiles, snaps his fingers and shakes his ass and says "Alright, Your sweety is sitting out at the bar waiting for ya!!". And Bob says "Time to get laid!!" and Bob starts out the door...And all of a sudden the Leprechaun runs up and grabs his leg and says "Hey, Bob!! You forgot my wish!!"...So Bob says "Ok, ok, what do ya want, Little Man?". And the Leprechaun gives him a wink and says "I want to butt-fuck you." And Bob says "FUCK NO!!!". So the Leprechaun says, "Well, remember...I can take your wishes away anytime I want to, if I don`t get my free wish!!!".......So Bob nods, and says "Well, I guess a million in cash, a nice new muddin` truck, and a hot babe is worth a butt-fuckin`....but let`s get it over with!!" So Bob and the Leprechaun get into one of the stalls and Bobs bent over the toilet as the little guy`s ramming his ass with that 6 foot dick, and the Leprechaun says "So, Bob, how old are you??".......and in a painful moan, Bob says "I`m 48."..................And then the Little Guy says..."Well, I can`t believe you`re this old....and you still believe in Leprechauns."

darwinmauser:

I always knew that the Aussies were not "my kind of Irish" (not really- I'm with you) -but now you have gone too far! Now you are stealing very,very old jokes.

quote:

Originally posted by gerry375:
darwinmauser:

I always knew that the Aussies were not "my kind of Irish" (not really- I'm with you) -but now you have gone too far! Now you are stealing very,very old jokes.

In my defence...it's a bloody good old joke.

Old but worth remembering!

darwinmauser:

You know something? You're right! You are probably too young to remember a comedian we had named Milton Berle who was very big on early TV up here. He was accused of constantly telling old jokes. His response was: "No joke is old if you never heard it before". He was right and you're right - but be warned! -I never want to give the Aussies too much ground and this is the last time I take a step back!