TWENTY DOLLARS

On their wedding night, the young bride
Approached her new husband and asked
For $20.00 for their first lovemaking
Encounter. In his highly aroused state,
Her husband readily agreed.



This scenario was repeated each time they made
Love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a
Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
She needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was
Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that
His employer was going through a process of corporate
Downsizing, and he had been let go.


It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
Another position that paid anywhere near what
He'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.


Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
Showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling
Nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued
By the bank which were worth over $2 million,
And informed him that they
Were one of the largest depositors in the bank.


She explained that for more than
Three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,
These holdings had multiplied and these were the
Results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments
Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,
'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,
I would have given you all my business!'

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
To keep their mouths shut

Thats like the one about the couple who when married,her condition was that he could never look in her 'hope chest'.After 50 years of marriage he finally can't take it anymore + sneaks in + opens her 'hope chest'.It is loaded to the top with dollar bills + an egg on top.When he confronts her with that she says,I made a vow that when ever I would trifle from you I would put an egg in the chest+ that is what I have done.He's thinking to himself,only one time,hell I'm ahead of the game;so he says,what about that chest full $1.00 bills? She says."Whenever I got a dozen I sold them".

I have a cousin who has a well paying job his wife handles all the finances.

He is always saying he has no money.

He is always saying I have ask the wife.

She always says yes.

She doesn't seem to spend much.

Now that he is getting ready to retire I wonder how much she has squirreled away.

A good partner to have;I hope she plays fair.Too many guys can't handle their money + at retirement that can really bite you in the shorts.As to your comment about having to ask the wife;recalls a story the Snap On tool dealer told me.He was at a dealership + this salesman was pushing him on this car. The guy says,"Look,I'll have to go home + ask my wife".So the salesman says,"Well,I guess I'll have to go home + ask my wife if I can sell it to you."I'd be willing to bet he lost that sale.

Had a real close friend that whenever I asked him if he wanted to go hunting or fishing he always said, "I'll have to see if I can get a kitchen pass." Used to annoy me to no end. When I want to go hunting or fishing, I go hunting or fishing.

He's been dead for nearly 15 years now and I wish he'd have just gone hunting or fishing. But miss being annoyed.