1 -How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

3 - Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there..

4 - How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

5 - Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.

6 - What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

7 - If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.

8 - Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

9 - Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

10 - Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

11 - If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

12 - Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%...
It's called a Wedding Cake.

13 - Why do men die before their wives?
Because they want to.

brutal...

you forgot one:

#14: if you leave both in the car while you run into Cabela's for thirty minutes, guess which one is glad to see you when you come back out?

quote:

2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

A battery is cheaper to replace.

Keith

I normally forward stuff I think is really funny to my wife, but not this one!! (I'm either getting more cowardly or smarter as I age, but I ain't getting suicidal.

Anyway, any of you Bravos who would claim you'll send that to your wife I'll believe...just like I believe the guys at the range who tell me they always neck shoot their elk, running, at 1320 yards with their granddad's ol' thutty-thutty..1 shot, 1 kill, every year.

I'll send it to Wifezilla. I've been married for 37 years what else can she do to me?

quote:

Originally posted by Fjold:
I'll send it to Wifezilla. I've been married for 37 years what else can she do to me?

Just wait !!!

[I've been trying to think of a way to get rid of a girlfriend (a great sacrifice when you are 66). This may work.]
Got to stop thinking.

quote:

Originally posted by Fjold:
I'll send it to Wifezilla. I've been married for 37 years what else can she do to me?

famous last words...