Where to Retire - You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where
1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

OR - You can retire to California where…-
1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. 5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.

OR You can retire to New York City where…
1 You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression

OR You can retire to Minnesota where..
1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
6. The highest level of criticism is "He is different," "She is different," or "It was different!"

OR You can retire to The Deep South where…
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2 "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder.”
6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say “Bless his heart” at the end!

OR You can move to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

OR You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where…
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition; "Where's my coat at?"

OR FINALLY you can retire to Florida where…
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

Might just as well STAY where we are….

Love it, gonna stay where I am, at least I'm used to it.

Grizz

I'm staying here but I wish all these people were'nt moving here. It's now SXSW + the cities population has tripled for this week. The weather is perfect so all these people want to move here.They need to have the festival in August so folks would see what the weather is REALLY like.

I happen to like Arizona it maybe hot at times but at least my guns won't rust.

quote:

3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

Yep, that's Nebraska!

quote:

Originally posted by NormanConquest:
I'm staying here but I wish all these people were'nt moving here. It's now SXSW + the cities population has tripled for this week. The weather is perfect so all these people want to move here.They need to have the festival in August so folks would see what the weather is REALLY like.

My grandson (round rock) played a baseball tourny in 103 degree weather. There was no discussion of calling it off even though the locals admitted it "was a little hot". Each kid, in addition to his eq bag shows up with a gallon water jug.

We adapt,but we live here + lets face it;how are you gonna stop a kid from playing ball? When I was growing up in Wichita Falls it was not uncommon to get up to 120 deg. in the summer + what little breeze there was that blew over the Red River was a wilter. But I remember just playing like all of us kids did + wondered why the grownups stayed in the shade. I still wish the transplants would not invade our fair city + MAINLY bring their ways with them.It is destroying a beautiful place. Although as a friend said the other day when I was bitching about the traffic; "If you are out there too then you are part of the problem." Well Richard,thank you + fuck you at the same time;because you're right but I,ve been here a long time.I have a friend that owns the Evangeline Cafe (cajun cooking + live music nightly)in South Austin He had a bunch of t shirts printed up that said " Old Austin did'nt die;it just moved south." So true.Having said that;please don't tell anyone to move to south Austin,the last bastion of the REAL old Austin.Sadly the only thing inevitable is change.