1. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently, a turban,
beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

2. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, John woke up to find himself
next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.

3. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after
they tested positive for WD40.

4. A teenage boy asks his granny: "Have you seen my pills? They were labeled LSD?"
Granny replies: " The hell with the pills, did you see the dragons in the
kitchen?"

5. Wife gets naked and asks hubby: "What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?" Hubby looks her up and down and replies: "Your sense of humor!"
(Hospital visiting hours are 5:00 to 6:00.)

6. A chap's wife's is back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex
movie last night, and all he did was suggest they should hold auditions for her part.
(His viewing will be Saturday from 7:00 till 8:30.)

7. I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next poop could spell disaster.

8. I woke up this morning at 9:00 and could sense something was wrong. I got
downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I
panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's serves
breakfast until 10:30.

9. Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. When we went to the fair last night it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

10. The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her. "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!" (The doctor says I should be able to see again in about ten days. The broken arm will take about a month.)

Truth And Humor In One Post.

A bunch of great humor that you would be unwise to share with "the little woman".

Bloody hilarious!

Wifezilla says that they're not funny.