Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry
me?" The Princess said, "NO !!!" And the Prince lived happily ever after
and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged big titted broads and
hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women
half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard
bitching and never paid child support or alimony and banged cheerleaders
and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and
blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and
all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons
of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

The end

Great One.

I used to be that Prince. But then at the age of 42, I asked my Princess the same question. Unfortunately, she said yes and I am now forever cursed! May none of the rest of you eligible bachelors ever be so afflicted!

From long, long experience I have learned a thing or two about marriage(s).

As a result ever so often some young lad still wet-behind-the-ears (anyone under 55) will start telling me he is considering marriage, about to get married, engaged to be married, or some such. At some point in the conversation I always tell him this:

"Marriage can be a wonderful thing, if not entered into precipitously or lightly. To assure it is done only after due diligence, I suggest you consider a "trial" period first.

"By that I mean, Now that you are at an age and in a situation where you could become married at any moment, try this...from this day, try being single for a test period of about 50-60 years, whichever you think best, but never less than 50 years from your most recent thought of entering wedlock.

"If it works out for you, remain single the rest of your days. If it doesn't after 50 years of doing your best at it, get married.

"By then it won't matter anyway. And it will make you ready to die."

Love is blind.
Marriage soon restores the vision.

"Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo. Women upset everything. When you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another." George Bernard Shaw

Oh this whole thing is just chauvinistic, sophomoric and silly . Why my life has been nothing but perfection since I married my beautiful precious wife. My life with out her would be nothing but misery..........................................................................................................................................................................



The wife reads this forum now and then and I think I might go back to Africa this fall... Doesn't hurt to put the best foot forward in a case like this

quote:

Originally posted by dempsey:

Every time you make angry nonsense comments using caps and extreme amounts of unnecessary sarcasm, your penis gets a little smaller.

That seems like it's an opinion based on personal experience. I'll have you know that MINE is the same size its been for a while now. I know because I checked it this morning, as I do every morning after a short search.

My problem isn't the size, but the attitude. The darn thing likes to piss into the wind every so often, and it has caused me other grief.

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” Robin Williams

Fortunately, I'm thinking more with the other head lately. Time will tell.

KB

quote:

Originally posted by Kabluewy:

quote:

Originally posted by dempsey:

Every time you make angry nonsense comments using caps and extreme amounts of unnecessary sarcasm, your penis gets a little smaller.

That seems like it's an opinion based on personal experience. I'll have you know that MINE is the same size its been for a while now. I know because I checked it this morning, as I do every morning after a short search.

My problem isn't the size, but the attitude. The darn thing likes to piss into the wind every so often, and it has caused me other grief.

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” Robin Williams

Fortunately, I'm thinking more with the other head lately. Time will tell.

KB

Not exactly, just a conclusion reached from reading the Political Forum and certain threads from the rainbow coalition defending McSwirlys.

http://www.oxfordadvancedlearn...ry/rainbow-coalition
A political group formed by different parties who agree to work together, especially one that includes one or more very small parties.

Perhaps the rainbow coalition is your kind of party, since your the xpert on small things.

KB

my wife says i never listen to her...or somethnig like that

Marriage, the first step to divorce!

quote:

Originally posted by Scriptus:
Marriage, the first step to divorce!

NOW you tell me!