Two dollar bill

I am STILL laughing!! Many of today`s youth are terribly challenged without a computer to tell them what to do!! The story is funny. Lack of education is not funny!!

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go."

Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"

Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"

Manager: "No. A what?"

Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."

Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill."

Server: "Yeah, thought so."

He comes back to me and says, "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"

Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"

Server: "I don't know."

Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"

Server: "Yeah."

Me: "So, why won't you take it?"

Server: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to take it."

Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"

Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."

Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."

Server: "What should I do?"

Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."

Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."

Manager: "Just tell him."

Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night."

Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."

Manager: "We don't take those, either."

Me: "Why not?"

Manager: "I think you know why."

Me: "No really ... tell me why."

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "What on earth for?"

Manager: "Please, sir."

Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."

Manager: "Would you please just leave?"

Me: "No."

Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then."

Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes late r this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"

Manager (whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money."

Guard: "No kidding! What?"

Manager: "Get this ... a two dollar bill."

Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"

Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty."

Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"

Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."

Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"

Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"

Guard: "Yeah."

Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."

Me: "Uh, no."

Guard: "Lemme see 'em."

Me: "Why?"

Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat, so I say, "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill."

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, "Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"

Manager: "It's fake."

Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."

Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."

Guard: "Yeah ... ?"

Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too!

Yep, funny and not funny at the same time.

I blame George Bush for not extoling the virtues of odd currency at every opportunity.


The only other thing I'd add is the new dollar coins. I'd use to tip at the bar with them 'til a waitess would't serve me because I was a cheap tipper. She was giving them away as quarters for change... so she loses twice, Alas...

Stupidity is more common than we think.

It gives me a great idea, I will go to the local taco bell with $1 and 50c coins and see what they do.

When I went to the Career Counselor cours at Fort Jackon, SC. I went out with my classmates to a titty bar, when we would by drinks mainly soda cause alcohol was expensive in those places, for change they would give us 2 dollar bills. Next morning I pulled my wallet out and I had alomost 20 dollars in 2 dollar bills.

You may remember that the $2 bill was given to us by the Carter Administration in an attempt to reduce the number of processes required to turn out a negotiable instrument. They also gave us the Suzie B dollar coin for the same purpose. Like the Carter presidency, both were failures because cash registers don't have a place to keep them and people were mistaking the Suzies for quarters.

Rootbeer

I hate to burst your bubble, but the Two Dollar Bill was arround way before Carter became President.

I remember the Navy and the Marine Corp paying their entire payroll with $2.00 bills in the early 1950's in San Diego, when relations got so bad that the locals posted signs theat read "Sailors and Dogs Keep Off the Grass."

The San Diego incident wasn't the only one, I was stationed in Albequerque, NM when they did the same thing there in 1959. Only there it was all DOD Personnel that got paid in $2.00 bills and I mean all $2.00 bills no other denominations.

Here's what I found.
Paul B.

The United States government first officially issued the $2 bill in July of 1862 as an United States Note with a portrait of Alexander Hamilton. The next issue of the $2 United States Note in 1869 featured the now familiar portrait of Thomas Jefferson painted by American artist Gilbert Stuart. The large-sized (7.375" x 3.125") $2 bill was also issued as a Silver Certificate, Federal Reserve Bank Note, Treasury or Coin Note, and as a National Bank Note.

In 1929, when all U.S. currency was changed to its current size (6.125" x 2.625"), the $2 bill was kept as a United States Note. Notes were issued in series of 1928, 1953, and 1963. The front of the bill featured a cropped version of Thomas Jefferson's portrait that had been on previous $2 bills. The back of the bill featured Jefferson's home, the Monticello. These $2 bills were officially discontinued in August of 1966.

In 1976, the Treasury Department reintroduced the bill as a cost-saving measure. As part of the United States Bicentennial celebration, the note was redesigned and issued as a Federal Reserve Note. The front featured the same portrait of Jefferson, a green instead of red seal and serial numbers, and the picture of Monticello on the back was replaced with an engraved rendition of John Trumbull's painting, "The Declaration of Independence". First day issues of the new bicentennial $2 bills could be taken to a post office and stamped with the date 13 April 1976. In all, 590,720,000 notes from the 1976 series were printed. The bills proved extremely unpopular and printing was stopped.

Many give as a reason for its failure that its value is redundant, being only twice the value of the $1. However, the fact that the $2 bill (and later coin) succeeded in Canada offers a potential counterpoint to this. Also, one could have used the redundancy argument to predict that the dime (being worth two nickels) and the $10 (being worth two $5 bills) would likewise be failures, but this has not been the case. Other, more colorful, stories about the reasons for its failure exist.

In 1996 and 1997, 153,600,000 bills were printed [1] as Series 1995 with the signatures of Robert Rubin and Mary Ellen Withrow. In 2004, 121,600,000 of the newest $2 bills, Series 2003, were printed bearing the signatures of John W. Snow and Rosario Marin. Both of these issues have the same design as the Series 1976 $2 bill.

Paul B.

I remember that $2 bills were quite common around race tracks where the $2 bet was the norm.

True; the $2 bill was widely used years ago. It was issued as a Silver Certificate and many companies paid their payrolls with it. But it fell out of favor sometime in the late 1950s or early 1960s, only to be resurrected during the Carter presidency as posted above. You hardly ever see a circulated one anymore.

I asked for a $2 bill at the bank in 1960.
They found and envelope and took one out.

Now, the tax accountant has a sheet of $2 bills, uncut, framed on the wall.

Taxes are boring, but at least I get to see those $2 bills.

Two stories along this line, friend, many years ago, had the bank make him a "book" of $2.00 bills. Went to a restaurant in a near by town and tried to pay with the $2.00 bills. As they were new and in consecutive number, he was turned down. While not about 2 buck bills, this last Saturday I was checking out at a local Pamida store, bill was 11 bucks and change. Gave the clerk the change but she was short of ones, said I'll give you a one and you give me a $10.00. The reply, "Oh no I can't do that, it will mes me up." Duh!

I knew a guy once at Boeing that always left a tip everywhere he went, in $2 bills. He would buy them from the bank special-order, and kept a few on hand with him for tipping.