A man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks what’s the matter buddy? The man replied I caught my wife in bed with my best friend. The bartender asked what did you do? The man replied I told her to get the hell out. The bartender asks what about your friend? The man said I looked him straight in the eyes and said bad dog.

I waiting for the last line to be "...told her to get out too...".

You bitter? Yep, bit him too.

Man walks into a bar and orders a drink.

He notices an ugly looking bloke sitting at the end of the bar, surrounded by beautiful girls.

He asks the barman "Why are all the girls surrounding that ugly bloke?"

The barman answers "keep your eyes on him"

The man keeps looking at that man.

Suddenly he sees him lick his own ears!

I had heard eyebrows, but same jest.

An old friend used to say "When you get weak in the hips, It's time to get strong in the lips"!

Hip

Exploring yodeling canyon or a box lunch at the Y