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Ukranian to English
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Just sharing a good laugh............

Direct Translation From Ukranian To English

The following are supposedly extracts from translations found in Ukranian travel brochures.

Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water.
You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others.
But please note that ladies are not allowed to have their babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with himself.

The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:

Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above all:

“When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it."
 
Posts: 775 | Registered: 08 December 2009Reply With Quote
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LOL, My wife's from Ukraine and I know for a fact that those translators do a weird job..
It's down right funny at times!


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Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone with free monthly minutes, food stamps, section 8 housing, a forty ounce malt liquor, a crack pipe and some Air Jordan's and he votes Democrat for a lifetime.
 
Posts: 4096 | Location: Cherkasy Ukraine  | Registered: 19 November 2005Reply With Quote
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Those are always goo for a chuckle! Big Grin


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Posts: 8696 | Location: MO | Registered: 03 February 2005Reply With Quote
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When I went to Japan, years ago. The hotel had rules for their guest, their English was just about as good.

Keith


IGNORE YOUR RIGHTS AND THEY'LL GO AWAY!!!
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Posts: 4553 | Location: Walker Co.,Texas | Registered: 05 September 2003Reply With Quote
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rotflmo
 
Posts: 18566 | Registered: 04 April 2005Reply With Quote
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Years ago, I edited a manuscript that was written in Spanish by someone who spoke only that language and translated into English by a college professor in Madrid. The text I received was similar to the above.


Bill Quimby
 
Posts: 2633 | Location: tucson and greer arizona | Registered: 02 February 2006Reply With Quote
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Translated back into Ukrainian......enjoy!!

Отримання Там:
Наш представник змусить вас чекати в аеропорту. Автобус до готелю проходить уздовж берега озера. Скоро ви будете відчувати задоволення при проходженні води.
Ви будете знати, що ви отримуєте поряд з готелем, тому що ви будете сходити з розуму. Менеджер буде чекати вас в передпокої. Він завжди намагається, щоб мати спілкування з усіма новими гостями.

В готелі:
Це сімейний готель, тому діти дуже вітаються. Ми, звичайно, завжди раді прийняти перелюбство. Висококваліфіковані медсестри доступні вечорами, щоб придушити ваші діти. Гості можуть сполучені в барі і піддавати себе іншим.
Але врахуйте, що дами не можуть мати своїх дітей в барі. Ми організуємо соціальні ігри, тому не гість ніколи не залишили в спокої, щоб грати з самим собою.

Ресторан:
Наше меню були ретельно підібрані, щоб бути звичайними і нецікавий. На вечерю нашому квартеті буде циркулювати від столу до столу, і возитися з вами.

Ваш номер:

В кожному номері є прекрасні умови для приватного частини. Взимку, в кожному номері є на тепло. В кожному номері є балкон з видом на видатні непристойності. Ви не турбуватиме шум вуличного руху, так як дорога між готелем та озером використовується тільки педерастів.

Ваше ліжко була зроблена у відповідності з місцевими традиціями. Якщо у вас є інші ідеї, будь ласка, кільце для покоївки. Будь ласка, скористайтеся ним. Вона буде дуже рада сквош вашої сорочки, блузки та нижню білизну. Якщо запитати, вона буде також стиснути штани.

Перш за все:

"Коли ви залишаєте нас в кінці вашого свята, ви будете мати ніякої надії. Ви будете боротися, щоб забути про це. "
 
Posts: 2097 | Location: Gainesville, FL | Registered: 13 October 2004Reply With Quote
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quote:
She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.



The problem is that with a litteral word for word translation "squash' should read press Squeeze your trousers means she's available and easy! rotflmo


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Today's Quote:
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone with free monthly minutes, food stamps, section 8 housing, a forty ounce malt liquor, a crack pipe and some Air Jordan's and he votes Democrat for a lifetime.
 
Posts: 4096 | Location: Cherkasy Ukraine  | Registered: 19 November 2005Reply With Quote
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