My 5 year old daughter, within 5 minutes of being delivered to her kindergarten class. "My daddy has a tail, but it's on the front!"

A coworker tells me that a year ago, Christmas, he was putting his 6 yr. old to bed after a long Christmas day.

The boy, pretty much exhausted after playing with his new toys all day, mumbled incoherently what sounded like "Aw, no mutherf***in Lego."

His father said "What?"

(mumbled) "No mutherf***in Lego."

It suddenly dawned on my coworker that the boy was saying "No Millenium Falcon Lego." (Star Wars)

When my mom was 2 or 3, this would have been 46 years or so ago, my grandmother took her on a trian, and my mom saw her first black man, to my grandma's horrer she said,"Look! A chocolate man!" The guy just laughed.

When I was about 4 or 5, kindergarten, I went to a private school. As a result I got spanked, because I needed it. Well, the teacher took me in to spank me for something and used a ruler, after a few swats I turned and told her,"I can see this isn't going to work, I'm just going to have to bring my father's belt from home." and I was serious. She loved it and years later when I dated her daughter a couple of times (in our mid teens) she loved to tell it.

My nephew is 3.5 years, and VERY ARTICULATE. Loves to talk. Well, he also spends the days with his grandmother, who is scottish, so he has a slight accent. We were in a restuarant at lunch hour, I had met my mom and him. He had his little Superman action figure and held him up to me and said,"His ass is broken." I looked around to see if anybody noticed, but it was only my mom and I trying not to laugh. What he had said was,"his S is broken" because the paint was worn off, but with the accent it sounded like Ass.


Red

When my mother was small, my grandmother had taken her to the hardware store and had lost track of her. She found her when she heard the store manager scolding my mother to "get down from there".



My mother replied "I will not. Not until you wipe me".



H. C.

I took my young son out deep sea fishing and the deckhand made a joke about being a "master baiter". I could have killed that mate when my son asked me later what masterbate means.