A friend told me about his trip out with his grandson. This is what he said. "Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My 6 year-old grandson asked if he could say grace." As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food and I would thank you even more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty, peace & justice for all. Amen!"

Along with the laughter and nodding of heads from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman at the next table remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why -- I never!

Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears & asked me, "Did I do it wrong Grandpa? Is God mad at me? After I assured him that he had done a terrific job & that God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my grandson & said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer." "Really?" my grandson asked. "Cross my heart," the man replied. Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is sometimes good for the soul."

Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal. My grandson stared at his ice cream for a moment, & then he did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over & placed it in front of the woman.

With a big smile he looked her in the eye and told her, "Here ma'am, this is for you, you grouchy old bitch. You must be a Democrat, Shove it up your ass and cool off!"

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it!

It sure does! Tears of laughter! True story here. Several years ago before my boys were grown we went to a restaurant that as part of the ambiance after your meal you had free reign of the self-dispensing ice cream machine that doled out the creamy D.Q. style. Well, the chocolate dispenser leaked a bit + so on the serving shelf there was this swirling pile of chocolate ice cream that my son immediately went back into the restaurant + coming back adorned the pile with corn + peanuts. I was not giving a posotive parental lead because I was laughing too hard.

Ice cream reminds me of the old Red Foxx routine where the woman goes shopping + comes home,e enraged + says to her husband, "I just went to a shoe store but I was in such a hurry to leave the house that I didn't put on any panties. Well, the shoe salesman LOOKS UP M DRESS + SAYS BABY, I COULD EAT THAT FULL OF ICE CREAM. Now I want you to go down there + whip his ass!" The husband says, "I'm not gonna do that for 3 reasons. #1 is you had no business going downtown w/o your underwear, #2 he might just be able to whip my ass, + #3, can't nobody eat that much ice cream anyway."

I heard it as I don't wanna fight nobody that could eat that much ice cream.

Same difference, as it were.