Things You Will Never Hear a Southern Boy Say

When I retire, I'm movin' North.
Oh I just couldn't. She's only sixteen.
I'll take Shakespeare for $1,000, Alex.
Duct tape won't fix that.
Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
We don't keep firearms in this house.
You can't feed that to the dog.
That car is too old and unsafe to drive.
Wrestling is fake.
We're vegetarians.
Do you think my gut is too big?
I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
Honey, we don't need another dog.
Who gives a rat's ass who won the Civil War!
Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
I just couldn't find a thing at Rural King today.
Trim the fat off that steak.
Cappuccino tastes better than coffee.
The tires on that truck are too big.
I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
Checkmate.
She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
I don't have a favorite college team.
You guys.
Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Becky Mae . . . darlin'.
AND THE DUMBEST THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!

I can't wait to get me a new Prius.
Venison always tasty gamey.
They should drain that swamp.
Catch and Release.
I'm a member of PETA.
Animals have rights too.
There is no reason to get in a fight.
I'll have another glass of champagne.
Moonshine should never be legalized.
This gun kicks too hard.

two more:

1. How 'bout them yankees...?

2. We all need to get behind the president...

quote:

. We all need to get behind the president...

and Push-----