1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, then
comes good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in Tucson.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I
haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
Then she said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought
her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the
carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me "In the Lake."

8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember. Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage.

12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

13. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said
"Dust "

Classic!!!

He was the man! The man could do great comedy without having to resort to the crap that they are doing today.....dont have to be dirty to be funny.
PaGriz

Right you are PaGriz. And as another great american often says; in order for humor to be good, it has to contain an element of truth.

Red Skelton's humor was clean and contained enough of truth to it that you could picture yourself thinking the same thoughts.

cwilson

[ 07-21-2003, 04:07: Message edited by: cwilson ]