A doctor is making his rounds in the hospital (some still do.) One of his patients is a nice little old lady with a broken hip.

After chatting with her for a bit, he realizes that he has eaten all of the peanuts from the small dish on her table. He immediately apologizes and offers to get her some more from the snack machine.

Her reply, "Oh, no thank you. I don't like peanuts. My niece brought me those treats and I just licked the chocolate off the outside."

Not funny here so skip it if you want. When I was a kid my mother thought it her Christian duty to visit the sick + guess who she drug along.The one I remember best was my great uncle Arizona Pike. He grew up + was boyhood friends w3ith Clark Gable (the actor).When we saw him in the hospital he was dying of diabetes. One fake leg propped in the corner, the other just removed + him with a huge ashtray in his legless lap,chainsmoking away.Smoking was allowed in those days.

I can not vouch for this being the truth, but my father told of his brother that was in the hospital. Apparently he had just finished breakfast, standard hospital fare with grapefruit juice which he hid in the bed. When they ask for a urine sample he subsituted the juice and handed the nurse the sample when she came back. She took one look at it and said boy we sure are cloudy today that's when his uncle grabbed it back and said well lets run it through again and drank it down. unknown what happened after that.