... A pilot gets home late ...

He left home about 8:30 a.m. to do some work in his hanger at the
airport with his friends. On the way out the door he answered his
wife's "what time will you be home?" question with "probably about
1:30, I'll have lunch at the airport."

1:30 came & went, 3:00 passed, 6:15, still not home, finally at about
7:00 pm he rolls in the driveway, and presents his wife with a pizza,
and begins the apologetic story.

I finished cleaning the plane about 11:30, had lunch, and I started
home, when alongside the road I saw this attractive girl with a flat
tire on her car. I stopped to help, got the tire changed, and looked
around for a place to wash my hands. She offered money, but I refused,
so she suggested that I at least allow her to buy me a beer. She said
there's a tavern just up the road, and they have a restroom, you can
clean up a bit. I agreed to stop, we had a beer, then another beer,
then a couple more, and I realized that this girl was not only
pretty, she was very friendly, and a good companion to spend time
with. Before I knew it, we were in the motel next door having sex. And
that is why I am so late getting home.

His wife looked him right in the eye and said "don't bullshit me;

YOU WENT FLYING, DIDN'T YOU!"