What do you say to a blonde with a pair of Irish shades? Nothing she's been told twice!

What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? Nice tits!

What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing it does'nt come anyway!

A salesman comes to a new town with a few hours to spare so he opts for a round of golf.
After tee off and some playing he gets confused and asks a lovely lady at the coming hole: Where am i?
She says: i'm playing hole 4 so you must be one hole behind me.
He sacks and does'nt see her until hole 19 at the clubhouse.
He buys a drink and tries to strike up a conversation: What are you doing for a living?
She: Im a travelling salesman.
Him: No sh!7 i'm a travelling salesman myself, what do you sell?
She: I wont say because you'll just laugh!
Him: I swear i wont laugh!
She: I'm a travelling salesman in sanitary towels.
Him: Spews drink all over the bar laughing.
She gets very upset and angry.
Him: Sorry but i'm a travelling salesman myself, but i seel toilet paper. So tecnically i'm still a hole behind you!