Words of Wisdom

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.

Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it.

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your behind will get soaking wet.

The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

Drinking makes some husbands see double and some . . .
feel single.

Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

A few corrections:

"To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely"

To err is human, to forgive is against corporate policy.

"Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have
thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?"

Ladies don't have tattoos. As to what's running around...