The CIA, the FBI and the LAPD are each asked to prove their capability of apprehending terrorists. President Bush releases a white rabbit into a forest and tells each agency to catch it.

The CIA goes first. It sends animal informants into the forest. They question all plant and material witnesses. After three months of intensive investigations the CIA concludes rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads it bombs the forest, killing everything, including the rabbit. It makes no apologies; the rabbit had it coming, they insist.

The LAPD go in. They come out after just two hours with a badly beaten bear.

The bear is sobbing, "OK, OK, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit."

Kevin 747 hears about George jnr's idea and decides to test Australian law enforcement agencies. He releases a white rabbit into Stromlo Forest, near Canberra .

The National Crime Authority can't catch it but promises that if it gets a budget increase it can recover $90 million in unpaid rabbit taxes and proceeds of crime.

The Victorian police go in. They're gone only 15 minutes, returning with a koala, a kangaroo and a tree fern, all three shot to pieces. "They looked like dangerous rabbits and we acted in self-defence," they explain.

The NSW police go in. Surveillance tapes later reveal top-ranking officers and rabbits dancing around a gum tree stoned out of their minds.

The Queensland police go in. They reappear driving a brand new Mercedes, scantily clad rabbits draped all over them.

The WA police actually catch the white rabbit, but it inexplicably hangs itself when the attending officer "slipped out momentarily" for a cup of tea.

The SA and NT police join forces and beat the crap out of every rabbit in the forest, except the white one. They know it is the black ones who cause all the trouble.

The Australian Federal Police refuse to go in. It examines the issues, particularly cost, and decides that because of low priority, high overtime and the projected expense to the AFP as a whole, the matter should be returned to the referring authority for further analysis.

ASIO goes into the wrong forest.

Defence appoints Defence Material Organisation (DMO) to acquire 'rabbit capability'. DMO attempts to purchase another rabbit through massive acqauistion plan. Boeing wins contract to supply said rabbit, pins set of ears on malnourished rat and declares success with a November delivery date. Rat bites defence members...

The fates of rabbits world-wide must regrettably be put on "hold" for a while.... In the meantime, I've GOT to print this one out for mein frau....

"Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut."

Many thanks.