Men Are Just Happier People--
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this
one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will
affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YEP!!!

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!

A friend once told me truisms concerning men + women. Every woman believes that she will change the man she marries while every man believes that he is an above average driver.

As a married man, my biggest mistake has been the notion that if my tells me she has a problem I think she wants it fixed...

I'm still struggling with that one 25 years later.

Never,Ever Tell a Women That She Is Wrong.Disagree With Her But Never Tell Her She Is Wrong. This Will Haunt You Forever In Most Cases.

My wife once screamed at me: "I'm never going to talk to you again!" On retrospect, "can I have that in writing", wasn't the best reply.

From reading this thread, I think I got very lucky 31 years ago.

A spouse's three favorite words...



..."You were right!"

That list is a CLASSIC!

Somehow women live under the impression that we want to share their misery.