1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can't remember what I chose.
2. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
3. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings..."
4. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - "don't" and "stop", unless they are used together.
5. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
6. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: TriWeekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
7. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
8. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
9. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife don't.
10. Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives!!!