Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town
prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly
woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know
me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
<>people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when
you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything
more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
<>he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated
on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes,
I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both
counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If
<>either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric
chair."

Excellent

Yo - Excellent! Justice is very much the same around the Globe - don't worry too much about the Southern geographical part!