I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
> >
> >
> >I do physical labor.
> >
> >I work at great depths.
> >
> >I plunge head first into everything I do.
> >
> >I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
> >
> >I work in a damp environment & don't get paid overtime.
> >
> >I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
> >
> >I work in high temperatures.
> >
> >My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
> >
> >
> >Dear Penis,
> >
> >After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
>raised,
> >the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
> >
> >
> >You do not work 8 hours straight.
> >
> >You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
> >
> >You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
> >
> >You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas.
> >
> >You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
> >order to start working.
> >
> >You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
> >
> >You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
>the
> >correct protective clothing.
> >
> >You'll retire well before reaching 65.
> >
> >You're unable to work double shifts.
> >
> >You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the
> >day's work.
> >
> >And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
>leaving
> >the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
> >
> >Sincerely, The Management
> >